hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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