I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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