A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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