oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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