Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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