Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize