Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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