His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
why is half of my head shaved?
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