Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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