I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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