I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize