thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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