Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize