My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize