He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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