worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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