I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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