i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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