i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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