He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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