Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You made me cry and you don't even care

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  (734): You made me cry and you don't even care http://tfl.nu/a209
  Replies (24) Good night (1108) Bad night (3936) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3222) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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  (805): He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/fsan
  Replies (31) Good night (4750) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I understand Curling. That high.

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  (757): I understand Curling. That high. http://tfl.nu/c58u
  Replies (39) Good night (7187) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

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  (705): Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it. http://tfl.nu/bw0n
  Replies (11) Good night (4332) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho

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  (619): If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/n12x
  Replies (12) Good night (3254) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter

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  (813): she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter http://tfl.nu/6hrd
  Replies (5) Good night (2456) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.

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  (602): JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS. http://tfl.nu/m8yh
  Replies (10) Good night (1265) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?

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  (501): Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill? http://tfl.nu/quyz
  Replies (11) Good night (1450) Bad night (564)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.

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  (512): Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery. http://tfl.nu/4491
  Replies (4) Good night (1096) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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  (228): She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics. http://tfl.nu/kvtj
  Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.

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  (269): I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive. http://tfl.nu/3jo8
  Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?

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  (720): Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital? http://tfl.nu/6lgx
  Replies (9) Good night (388) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt

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