covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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