I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize