I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize