I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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