Betty ford says i'm here all night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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