Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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