Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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