if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize