my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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