I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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