I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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