I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize