Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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