1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize