I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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