i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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