Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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