oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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