Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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