i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize