Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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