I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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