even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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