I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize