you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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