Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize