the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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