he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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