literally had 100 drinks last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize